Visions from Heaven

When I was growing up, I had been raised with a more conservative understanding of the Christian faith. I rarely remember a sermon on the Holy Spirit, and had even been told that certain spiritual gifts were no longer active within the body of Christ. I didn’t know anyone who spoke in tongues, or prophesied, or had spiritual dreams or visions.

But then God started radically changing my life. When Covid-19 hit, all these things that kept me busy and distracted were removed, and God drew me near to Him in His word. Whereas before, I was not the best at reading the Bible consistently, and it would sometimes be out of obligation rather than heartfelt desire, I began to consume it. The Spirit began to open my eyes to the truth and beauty of the word. And, as He did this, He began to radically shift my long-held preconceptions. In a sermon, I heard that rabbis in Israel will often go into kindergartens and give honey to kids on wax paper. They have the kids taste the honey, and tell them, “This is what the word of God tastes like.” In our western culture, I think we can sometimes keep the word of God at arm’s length. We passively read it. Yet, in Jewish culture, the word of God is consumed. This is how scripture is meant to be interacted with. “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth” (Psalm 119:103). We should take it in and have it transform us from the inside out. This is what Jesus means when he tells the Pharisees, “First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean too” (Matthew 23:26).

(As you read, enjoy several photos of my hike up Acatenango)

I started to have a few spiritual dreams and visions. God began to connect scripture in a new way, and – as I consumed it more – God began to pull up specific passages as I prayed over people or talked to people to encourage them (intercessory prayer). The word began to transform me. Training camp, for the World Race, was a beautifully stretching experience because we started to learn how to walk out life like the early church in Acts. While on the Race, Jesus has been giving me some beautiful visions, which I want to share with you:

Training Camp Visions:

In worship time, there was a song that included a lyric talking about being covered by God, and God put the passage from Ruth 3:1-11 in my mind. It says, “when Boaz had eaten and drunk his heart was happy, he went to lie down at the end of the stack of grain. Then Ruth came secretly, and uncovered his feet and lay down.” When discovered by Boaz, Ruth said, “I am Ruth your maid. Spread the hem of your garment over me, for you are a close relative and redeemer.” Then He said, “May you be blessed by the Lord, my daughter. You have made your last kindness better than the first; for you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich. Now, my daughter, do not be afraid, I will do for you whatever you ask, since all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence.” And we find out later in the story that Boaz does indeed redeem Ruth, and they are married. Ruth and Naomi are cared for by their kinsman redeemer. And Ruth gives birth to Obed, the ancestor of King David, and later Jesus. I won’t elaborate here, but there are many great sermons on this passage, and how it ties to Christ as our kinsman redeemer. But, as I was reflecting on this passage, God gave me an image Jesus coming up to me and covering me in a cloak He was wearing, and drawing me near to Him. Not only has He been, but He wants to continue to be my kinsman redeemer.

Another time, I got an image of me as a small child, maybe two or three years old, and I had fallen asleep at Jesus’ feet. And He picked me up and tucked me into His arms and rocked me back and forth.

At the end of training camp, I was about to sign the contract to officially join the World Race, and we had a quiet moment of prayer beforehand to make the decision. As I was praying, I felt a need to lay flat on the ground. This posture mirrored my heart, which was saying, “here I am, Lord. Search me and know me. Bring all of me in to alignment with you, and use me how you will.” I literally laid myself at His feet. I felt a peace in my spirit. And in that moment, I saw Jesus kneel down, stretch out His hand, and ask, “are you ready?” I remembered what someone had told me before the race, “Jesus is already there, waiting for you.” He is already in each country, and is preparing for the work that He’s calling me to. And in that moment, I just felt Him inviting me into that space, to walk with Him in that.

Healing Prayer:

After flying to Guatemala, we stayed several days at the Adventures in Missions (AIM) base outside of Parramos before moving to Sumpango to begin ministry with Reindom. I got to do a guided healing prayer with one of the girls on my race, Victoria. She walked me through envisioning a safe space and inviting the Lord into it, and then asking the Lord to show me a memory of a moment that still caused me pain, to invite the Lord in to bring healing. The Lord showed me the moment I heard about my mom passing away. Feelings had been stirred up a lot at the time we were doing the healing prayer, because it was right by the anniversary of her passing. I could still visualize the space and feelings of that moment. And where I had been sitting alone, the Lord showed me that He had been there. That He had been holding me in that moment. And little did I know that this was the start of the Lord continuing to bring me healing over my mom’s passing throughout my time in Guatemala. I know that I am still walking through healing, but He had me lay down lies and guilt that I had been carrying for decades.

Vision in the Field:

Another time, when we had been living at Casa de Reindom for some time, we began having more encounters with demon-possessed people, and some of us had been experiencing spiritual warfare – especially in the night. We decided to spend some time one evening all together walking through the house and praying over the space, which eventually turned into spontaneous worship. As I was praying, I began to pray for the Jesus to come, for His glory to be revealed, and for the kingdom of heaven be established here on earth. I can’t even explain the peace and serenity and joy that was washing over me in that moment. And all I could see was white. It was so bright. And then I saw myself in a white, bridal dress, and I was going to the marriage of the Lamb – my marriage. And all I saw when I looked at myself was purity and holiness and righteousness. I remembered reading up on what the marriage preparation was like in 1^st century Israel, and one of the things that stuck with me most was that the father of the groom chooses a bride for his son. And I’m undone every time that I think that God the Father took one look at me and said, “yes, I want you to marry my son.” The Son of the very God of the universe! That He looks on me with so much love and delight. Yet, it’s not anything that I possess that somehow qualifies me to be worthy of selection. Rather, it’s His love alone.

Then I had almost a slideshow of images showing all of the times in my life that I felt alone and unseen and unloved. And Jesus had changed each of those memories. He was in every single one of them with His arms wrapped around me. And He spoke this over me: “I’ve always been there, and will always be there. I will never leave you. I always loved you, and will always love you. You can’t lose my love.”

Then, I felt God calling me to read Ezekiel 37, about where God had Ezekiel prophesy to the dry bones, and the bones came together, and flesh came on the bones, but the bodies didn’t have life. Then God told Ezekiel to prophesy to the wind to come into the bones and to proclaim life over the bones. If you haven’t read it, I recommend. It’s a powerful passage. Anyway, I felt that God was calling me to that passage because He wanted me, and others in the ministry or on my team, and even some of you reading, to know that God is speaking life over the things you thought were dead. The things that you thought were impossible. The things you have given up hope on believing or praying for. God calls us to step out more deeply into the waters. To take our bones and lay them before the Lord in a moment of trust. And wait to see what He will do!

Vision before Romania:

The first night we got to our hostel in Antigua for two weeks of debrief and training after ministry, God brought up the passage in 1 Kings 19, where Elijah got a message from queen Jezebel. She threatened his life, and he ran into the wilderness to hide, and begged God that he would die. The Lord found him sleeping under a tree, and woke him up to give him food. Then God had him sleep more, and gave him more food, so that he had enough strength for a 40-day journey further into the wilderness. It was only there that the Lord confronted the fear that Elijah is carrying. What fascinated me about that passage was that this event was right after Elijah took on a thousand prophets of Baal, and slaughtered them after a miraculous demonstration of God’s power. And now he became scared of Jezebel’s threat. And the Lord told me, when we’re tired, something much smaller than us can scare us or knock us off course. And this vision was so fitting, because He was ushering in a period of rest for me and my squad before we headed into Romania. Debrief proved to be so lifegiving. It was restful mentally, physically, and spiritually. It gave me the space to sit and be still, and sift through things with the Lord, as well as to prepare for what’s next.

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I also wanted to share that I struggled with moments when there were long gaps between them, and it felt like a divine silence. I had several visions back-to-back in the tight window of training camp, and then had a stretch of almost a month until I got more. And I think, in some ways, the environment factored in. At training camp, we were constantly being poured into, and had time of intentional reflection and conversation with God. But stepping into ministry diverted my attention to many things – good things – but it meant that I had less time for reflection and stillness. I am learning a lot (and still have much to learn) about balancing between quiet time and walking with God in the work that He has for me and for my team and for our hosts. I think it’s also God’s prerogative when and how He chooses to communicate with us. He is unsearchable, and His ways are higher. And just because there is silence doesn’t always mean that we have stepped into sin and away from God (Job being an example).

I don’t really know how else to close other than inviting you to take time and sit with the Lord. I encourage you to invite Him into your quiet time, and give Him space to speak to you. There are many different ways He loves to interact with us, and each person has a unique relationship with Him. Don’t compare, and don’t try to box in how He can communicate with you. God promises, “you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.”

Here are several questions that you can ask Him in your time of prayer:

1. How do you view me?
2. What about your character do you want to show me today?
3. How do you want to communicate with me in new ways?
4. What are you wanting to grow in me in this season?
5. What do you want to correct/change about how I view you?
6. What’s a unique way you want to show me that you love me?

 

*I particularly like the last question, because I wholeheartedly believe God shows us unique ways that He loves us. I call them “God winks.” Three ways He does that for me is by helping me remember or find things, with a bird/birds, and with fireworks. If you’re curious and want to know more, message me, and I’ll tell you a couple cool stories!